I did my best to stay out of the stories and just let myself feel the truest thing I was aware of: "I am scared." Then, as Loch advised, I shifted my language a bit and with it, my perspective. Internally, I started repeating the words: "I am scared" and then let myself feel how true that felt. Then I added in a practice I’ve learned recently from Loch Kelly on the Waking Up app. Deep breath, allow the sensations of fear. Finally, due more to overwhelm than mindfulness, I closed the laptop again, and went back to the couch, repeating the process above. My breath stopped repeatedly in my chest, my vision was narrowing and fixating on the words I was using to scare myself. Well, for better or worse, my fear button got pressed all over again. Then I did something I don’t recommend.apparently one of the thoughts took hold and before I knew it, I was back on my laptop researching solutions. It’s rare my terrified-button gets pressed so squarely, and if I’ve learned one thing in my journey of cultivating emotional maturity, it’s that emotions can blossom into some of life’s richest experiences, but when suppressed, life can become contracted, difficult, and small. I kept slowing down my breath - not to calm myself - but actually to feel the sensations of fear even more fully. As my mind whirred, I kept bringing my attention back down to the tremble in my animal body. I could not help but notice my mind painting pictures of scary future scenarios and then jabbering away at plans to try to fix, control, or avoid those hypothetical outcomes. I noticed my heart beating, my jaw was tight, my whole upper body was quietly vibrating. ![]() Next I moved myself from computer to couch, closed my eyes, and let the sensations of fear arise. The alternative seems to be running around the world trying haphazardly to avoid or change people and things so I don’t have to face what I’m feeling. "I am scared." To me, that simple recognition that my body has gone into a heightened emotional state is a key to knowing when it’s time for inner work. I imagine I’m not the only one who has had that experience recently, so I thought it might be helpful to share how I worked with the fear. ![]() Yesterday I read an article during and after which I felt scared.
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